I heard something earlier this year that gave me an A-HA moment and has changed the way I approach challenges.
The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
Do you always start strong but never finish anything?
Do you create grand plans to change your life but don’t get any further than Googling some ideas.
Do join the gym, buy new workout clothes and then only go for 4 weeks?
Do you make to do lists but then forget to refer to them?
Create plans to start making your lifelong dream a reality but never quite get around to facing some big decisions that need to be made to make it happen!!
I realised that I am a great starter…you know, full of creative ideas; heaps of energy and focus but then I never seemed to finish anything. I didn’t like to be less than perfect at something so if I couldn’t meet my standards I would give up.
The thing is I still achieved a lot because of natural talent but I kept hitting a ceiling and wondering why I wasn’t shining in the way that I knew deep down I could be. While I felt that I worked hard in reality I only stretched myself a little bit and when things got hard or I thought I might not be ‘the best’ I wouldn’t follow though and I would kid myself it didn’t matter.
This allowed me to stay firmly in my comfort zone. You see it was not because I am lazy that I didn’t finish, it was because deep down I didn’t feel I was good enough and I was scared of failing (and paradoxically scared of shining because I didn’t think I deserved to shine more than others).
My perfectionism was keeping me stuck in my comfort zone. But I wanted to be in my genius zone.
Maybe this was my way of ‘upper limiting’ a concept written about by Gay Hendricks that suggests we all have an ‘upper limit’ of success or feeling good so when we excel or exceed our upper limit we then create circumstance that bring us down to our ‘normal’.
If you find you are limiting your happiness or success there are a couple of things you can do.
- Be clear on your desires. I mean really clear. Your dreams need to be in your face, literally. Write it out; stick it on the wall in front of your computer; put post-it notes on the wall. Your dreams need to be bigger than your fear of failure
- Get comfortable with compliments and start acknowledging your accomplishments. Don’t deflect compliments or positive attention. Learn to own and feel your brilliance.
- Give yourself permission to step away from striving and take time for self care. This is part of learning to love and value yourself just for being you and not just for your accomplishments.
- Find people who support your dreams, who encourage you to step up rather than those who just want to keep you at the same level.
Now of course I am not perfect so I still get hard on myself, but you see the more I am aware of it and the more I practice being kinder to myself while at the same time being clear on my goals, the more often I dust myself off and keep going.
It just takes the willingness to want a different life…. That’s all you need at the beginning. The rest of the path will start to reveal itself.
If you are you ready for change; ready to become a strong finisher and stop sabotaging yourself so that you can have the body, relationship, job and life that you know you deserve then let’s talk.
You can finally be healthier, fit, energetic, vibrant and live from a place of joy?
Become incredibly proud of yourself and finally FIND YOUR GROOVE
Schedule a 30 minute F*R*E*E discovery session with me where I will help you identify your blocks, shift into an abundant mindset and set you up with an individualized action plan.
Here’s how we can connect.
#2 Think about the thing you want MOST to change in your life right now.
#3 Show up for the call with an openness to all that is possible for YOU!