The past 6 weeks have been a frustrating lesson for me to release self expectations and accept what is.
Six weeks ago I undertook my first week of yoga teacher training where a niggling groin injury became fully inflamed and very painful, limiting my ability to do a number of the poses. A week of 12 hour days full of yoga was physically and mentally challenging for all of us. So I thought ” not to worry” I will just rest for a week and all will be good.
The injury has progressively become worse to the point where walking hurts, let alone any yoga or other exercise. I can’t even sit in my normal cross-legged meditation position.
This is driving me crazy because not only does yoga and other exercise keep me sane but I have to log a required number of hours of self practice and class attendance as part of my certification requirements. In my stubbornness to keep up the course requirements, I admit I have not rested as much as I should.
Now I have reached a point where I simply cannot do anything. The pain has finally stopped my pig-deader determination in its tracks.
My strength and physicality has always been my foundation in yoga and I have been saying for awhile how my focus is moving form the physical to wanting to learn more about, and embody the spiritual teachings of yoga. Well it looks like the Universe has conspired to make me act in accordance with my desire.
I have no choice but to accept my physical limitations and focus on meditation and pranayama and learning more about yogic philosophy such as non-attachment, non-violence and acceptance. The real lesson is that while it is important to practice compassion and non-violence to others it is just as important to practice this for myself.
I admit that I had a little meltdown this morning – being angry at myself for not resting sooner, being angry at my body for letting me down and being angry at my acupuncturist for not treating the injury more intensively – I want it fixed NOW! You see I have to fly out for my next module of teacher training on Boxing Day and I can’t even sit properly…AARRGGH!
I came to the realisation that I do have options. I could stay angry or I could accept where my body is at and accept the advice that I know to be right – no exercise whatsoever.
So time to relax into my own advice that I give you and accept and love my body where it is right now.
Give it some love. Give it some compassion. And let it heal.
I may also have just purchased a pair of amazing boots online – this made me feel much better 🙂
If you need a little help loving your body and getting it on the path to health and vitality, give me a call on 0404 061 767 or email firstname.lastname@example.org to see how we could work together in 2015.